Why did the woman cross the road?
- It doesnt matter, the bitch shouldn't have been out of the kitchen in the first place.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
- Nothing, you done told her twice already.
Why can't women ski?
- Because theres no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.
What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
- The back of my hand.
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
- The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Why don't women need a watch?
- There's a clock on the stove.
Did you know there are female hormones in beer?
- If you drink too it makes you talk crap and drive horrible.
Why do they call it PMS?
- Cause mad cow disease was already taken.