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Θέμα: in court

  1. #1
    ειδικός χρήστης Το avatar του/της Rezeguet
    Εγγραφή
    23/09/2004
    Μηνύματα
    577

    in court

    hese are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people
    actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published bycourt
    reporters-who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were
    actually taking place. Some of these are excellent -- don't miss the last
    one.

    ____________________________ ____


    Q: Are you sexually active?
    A: No, I just lie there.

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July 15th.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.

    ____________________________ ____

    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that
    you've forgotten?

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.

    ____________________________ ____

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke
    up that morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
    voodoo or the occult?
    A: We both do.
    Q: Voodoo?
    A: We do.
    Q: You do?
    A: Yes, voodoo.

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
    he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

    ____________________________ ____

    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male, or a female?

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to
    a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    A: Oral.

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
    autopsy.

    ____________________________ ____

    Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

    ____________________________ ____



    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
    for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
    you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
    practicing law somewhere







    :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

    eidika ayto to voodoo me erikse apo thn karekla xaxaaxaxax :rotflmao:
    O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
    The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won;
    The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
    While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring.

  2. #2
    Καραμελος Το avatar του/της kalesin
    Εγγραφή
    30/09/2005
    Μηνύματα
    1.083
    :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

  3. #3
    μια σκιά μ' ακολουθάει Το avatar του/της cityfly
    Εγγραφή
    07/05/2003
    Μηνύματα
    3.614

    Re: in court

    Αρχικά δημιουργήθηκε από Rezeguet


    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
    for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
    you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
    practicing law somewhere







    :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

  4. #4
    Δαγκώνω άσχημα....γρρρ Το avatar του/της Krokodilos001
    Εγγραφή
    22/06/2005
    Μηνύματα
    494
    gamo tous xasodikes, kseskistika.

    :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

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