Prison Life vs Full-Time Job
• In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At Work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
• In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
• In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
• At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
• In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
• In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you can't even speak to your family and friends.
• In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.
• In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.
• In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work there are some programs you can never get out of.
• In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work we have managers.
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE
George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said,"Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
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