Remember; Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage!
______________________
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
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Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement-ring, wedding-ring, and suffe-ring.
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The last fight was my fault.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
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In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
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Why do men die before their wives?
Cause they want to.
____________
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on
Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
____________
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next
day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
forget it once.
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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
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If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
____________
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying”.
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